See You In The Dark
by LetTheRadioBreakTheSilence
Summary: Shane falls for his best friend, but one night will change their entire relationship. Can they make the transition from just friends to more? Shane's POV, there will probably be a little Naitlyn. R&R, please!
1. Chapter 1

"Is there a problem here?"

I took a few steps towards the much bigger man, acting a lot more confident than I actually was. I wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but I could see that he was getting a little too close and Lexi was starting to look uncomfortable. She knew how to handle herself around guys, but I knew her well enough to know that when she started to get that look in her eyes, it was time for me to step in.

"Why don't you mind your own business?" he replied, grabbing Lexi's arm and trying to pull her away from me.

"Let go of me," she said as forcefully as she could, but I can't imagine it was very intimidating to a guy like that.

She tried to escape, but he was too much stronger than her. I don't know who this guy thought he was, but nobody lays a hand on her and gets away with it. I punched him as hard as I could, and he let go of her arm. He stared at me for a moment, shocked that I had actually hit him, before coming towards me angrily.

I felt someone shaking me and my eyes fluttered open groggily. There she was, her shoulder-length red hair falling in front of her face, sitting on the side of my bed – my best friend, Alexa Marie Kennedy. The girl I had been though everything with, ever since we first met when she moved in next door to me when we were both five-years old. I don't know what I would do without her. Hell, when I decided to move out to Los Angeles with Jason and Nate so we could really start pursuing music, I _begged_ her to go to college in the city – and she did, because she knew, even though I would never admit it, that I was scared. Everyone always makes fun of us for being "joined at the hip," but I don't care. It's true, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Hey, Lex," I muttered, rubbing my eyes.

"I can see your date didn't go well last night," she glanced at the empty space next to me in my bed and smirked.

"She ordered a hamburger," I told her. "I took her to a really nice restaurant, and she ordered a hamburger. Who the hell does that?"

Lexi laughed. "Maybe she just likes hamburgers. You know, you'd probably have better luck if you could look passed the very first thing a girl does that bothers you. You get hung up on one thing…"

"Are you saying I'm picky or something?" I joked.

She always made fun of me for being "picky." I prefer to look at it as being "selective," but she doesn't see a distinction.

"I'm just saying, you might have better luck if you learn to accept peoples' little nuances…"

"I accept yours," I said matter-of-factly.

Lexi pretended to be offended. "What do you mean? I'm perfect, aren't I?"

"Yeah, sure," I laughed. "At least I know you would never order a hamburger at Valentino."

"I'm a vegetarian," she reminded me.

"Exactly. Do you remember when we went to that party in high school and that guy was messing with you so I punched him in the face?"

"Oh, right, and then he kicked your ass…"

I glared at her. "I don't remember anything like _that _happening…"

"Well, that doesn't surprise me, since you were unconscious," she grinned.

I grabbed a spare pillow next to me and hit her with it. Lexi screamed and jumped on me. Good thing she's small. She started tickling me – she knows how much I hate that. So, of course, she does it as much as she can.

"Of all the girls I could have been best friends with, why did I choose the bitchiest?"

She made the most pathetic pouty-face I've ever seen and pretended she was about to cry. "Shaney, you love me."

"Well…" I pretended to think really hard about it.

"Tell me you love me."

I sat up and gave her a peck on the lips. "Fine, I love you. Let's get some breakfast."

"Nate already made coffee."

It wasn't really hard to figure out why most of the girls I dated didn't like Lexi. They were always jealous of her. I never understood what the big deal was. So what, I kissed my best friend. Haven't they ever watched _Will & Grace_? Not that I like that show anything…and I guess their situation is a _little_ different, but still. We'd known each other for practically our whole lives. Nobody ever believed me when I said I'd never seen her as more than a friend, but it's true. I guess, in a way, she made it easy to weed out the girls I had no future with. If they couldn't accept her, I didn't want anything to do with them, because Lexi wasn't going anywhere.

She was my first kiss, though. First grade, next to the swings at recess. The other kids wanted to play "wedding" and they made us be the bride and groom. It was a lovely ceremony, really. Especially when they threw sand at us instead of rice. Our teacher was pretty mad.

She was, kind of, my first real kiss, too. I was about to go on my first date, with this girl named Kristen that I really liked. I started freaking out because I'd never kissed a girl, and what if I was bad at it? So she showed me how. It was kind of a waste because it turned out that Kristen didn't even _want_ me to kiss her, but at least I knew for next time. Seriously, why go on a date with someone if you don't want them to kiss you? To this day, I still don't understand.

Nate was in the kitchen when we walked in. As soon as he saw me, he rolled his eyes. He did it pretty much every morning, so I was used to it by now. We had the same conversation every time, but for some reason he never understood.

Lexi poured two cups of coffee and handed me one. "I'm going to the gym, I'll see you guys later. And don't forget that people are coming over tonight for the pool party, okay? Don't make other plans!"

Nate and I were infamous for accidently planning to be in about five places at once. It was ironic, really; we made fun of Jason so much for being forgetful that he hired a personal assistant, but we were just as bad as he was.

"Thanks," I said, indicating the mug in my hand. "See ya."

She kissed me on the cheek and disappeared from the kitchen. I glanced at Nate expectantly, waiting for him to start in on his usual rant.

"Man…when is she going to come out of your room looking _satisfied_?"

I just shook my head and laughed. It blew his mind that I could be _friends _with a girl without wanting to sleep with her. "Just because you can't hold down a friendship with a girl, doesn't mean it's impossible."

"That's not even what I'm talking about," he replied. "I'm talking about _that_ girl. How can you look at her and not just want to rip her clothes off? She is like…the hottest girl I've ever seen, I'm pretty sure. You're honestly going to sit there and try to tell me she isn't?"

I just shrugged. What did he want me to say?

"She's beautiful, yeah, but…when I look at her, I still see the girl who held my hand on the first day of kindergarten because I was afraid to leave my mom."

"Aww, what a sweet story," Nate said sarcastically. "But it's time to wake up, dude, because that little girl is all grown up."

"She's your friend, too, why don't _you_ sleep with her?"

"Well, because my girlfriend probably wouldn't be too happy about that…" he pointed out. "But before Caitlyn, you think I didn't _try_?"

I thought back for a moment. "Oh, last tour, right? She told me about that."

"She _told _you?"

I had to smirk a little at his embarrassment. "She tells me everything."

"I should have guessed that," he sighed. "But seriously, she comes into your room like every night in those really, _really_ short shorts and a sports bra…and you just want to _talk_?"

"Yes."

"So…you hug, you kiss, you barely leave the house without her, you fall asleep together practically every night…but you don't have sex? That sucks, dude. You're like one of those old married couples that never have sex anymore. It's very sad."

"Okay, man, whatever," I gave up.

"I'm just saying, if I were you, I'd be taking _a lot_ of cold showers…"

Maybe if I had friends that were more mature than fifteen-year old boys, they would understand. But whatever, I don't care. I stood up and grabbed a PopTart before I started towards my room.

I couldn't help but think about one thing he said, though: "That little girl is all grown up."

**A/N: REVIEW PLEASE!!! I have the next couple of chapters written, more or less, so the more reviews I get, the more likely I'll post it sooner…*wink wink* **


	2. Chapter 2

I grabbed a Coke – and a Diet Coke for Lexi, because I knew as soon as I went outside she would ask me to get her one – from the refrigerator and stepped out onto the pool deck. Days like these, in the middle of September, reminded me why I didn't miss living in Michigan. It was 75 degrees and sunny here – I wouldn't be surprised if it was already snowing in Detroit. I waved to some of my friends who were already in the pool. Jason was busy grilling something. It didn't really matter what it was, because it would be unrecognizable by the time he was done with it. I don't know why he didn't just give up, but every time we had a pool party, which was about once a week, he would be at the grill. In the end, we always ended up ordering pizza.

"Oh, Shane, could you…" Lexi started as soon as she saw me, but stopped when I held up the Diet Coke. "Love you!"

She and Caitlyn were in their usual chairs near the middle of the pool, lying back and trying to tan. Damn, she looked good. She was wearing her new bikini – and I would know, she made me sit in the mall for like five hours while she picked out "the perfect one." But it almost seemed didn't really seem like wasted time now, because she sure did look perfect. I never noticed what an amazing body she had. I guess I was just used to it. But all I wanted to do right now was run my hands up and down those curves and…

Wait, what the hell?

This is Lexi. My best friend. My best friend since we were five. My best friend who convinced me that it would be cool to jump off the top of the jungle gym, and who sat with me in the hospital after I broke my arm doing it, and who put Power Rangers stickers on my cast. My best friend who slept over at my house practically every night all through school because her mom worked the night shift at the hospital and her asshole father left when she was seven – though, I think I probably used the term "butthead" at the time. My best friend who started nasty rumors about the first girl who broke my heart. My best friend who didn't tell anyone that I screamed like a girl when we watched _Halloween_ for the first time, and that when we were six I cried like a girl when Simba's dad died in _The Lion King_.

My best friend.

My best friend.

My best friend.

My best friend who is probably the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid eyes on, inside and out. My best friend who moved across the whole damn country because I was afraid to start a new life by myself. My best friend who made me smile just by walking into a room, even if I was having the worst day ever. My best friend who I can tell _anything _to. My best friend who…for some reason, I always slept better when she was right next to me.

Nate was right – she was all grown up. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Lexi stood up as I walked towards her and hugged me after she took the Diet Coke from my hand. My body started freaking out the second I felt her skin against mine. My heart was pounding, I started getting really hot, and my stomach was doing all these crazy flips. Why was this happening to me?!

"Thanks, sweetie," she smiled up at me. "Sit down!"

I took a step away from her. I could not have her touching me right now. "Um…I'm going to go take a nap."

She made that fucking adorable pouty-face. Why did I think it was so cute all of the sudden? I honestly wasn't sure I'd be able to say no to whatever she was about to say. "But everyone's here! You can't leave a party at your own house!"

"Yeah, well…I'm not really feeling well," I sorta lied, but in a way it was the truth. Just not in the way I was implying, I guess.

"Oh," she replied, looking more sympathetic. "Do you want me to come with you? We can just hang out, just the two…"

"NO! I mean…no, you should stay. Have fun. I'll be fine."

"Okay," she nodded. "Let me know if you change your mind."

"Okay, see ya," I replied quickly.

I practically ran back inside the house and upstairs, and then I took the longest, coldest shower of my entire life. What the hell was going on? Had I been brainwashing myself with childhood memories so I could ignore the fact that I had feelings for her? Did I even _have _feelings for her? Or was I just turned on by what she was wearing? Or, I guess, not wearing. But I'd seen her in a bikini before. A million times. It was never a big deal. Why was I letting what Nate said get to me? I'd never had trouble ignoring him before, so why start now?

I must have fallen asleep after my shower, because when I heard Lexi come into my room, it was dark out.

"Shane? Are you awake?"

"Yes," I said.

I jumped out of bed as fast as I could. The last thing I needed was for her to crawl into bed next to me. My body would probably have had the most epic freak-out ever.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

I turned on the light next to my bed. She had taken a shower and thrown her hair up into a wet, messy bun. She didn't have any makeup on, and she was wearing a pair of black shorts and a pink Connect 3 zip-up hoodie. Pretty much the same way she looked every single night, but all of the sudden, she was irresistible in it.

"Shane?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I replied.

She looked at me skeptically. She always knew when I was lying. "Are you sure? You look kind of weird."

"Yeah, I'm good."

She smiled. "No, you're not. But I guess you'll tell me when you want to…"

Lexi stood on her tiptoes and gave me a peck on the lips. "Goodnight."

My stupid body took charge and, before I even had time to think about it, I pressed my lips against hers. I was kissing my best friend. _Really_ kissing her. Not the way I usually kissed her. And it was amazing and terrifying and confusing and a million other emotions all at one time.

And she was kissing me back. A little. I think. Maybe. Okay, I'm not really sure. But I hope so.

And then she pulled away from me. "Shane…what are you doing?"

What _was _I doing? "I don't know."

It was the truth. I had no fucking clue what I was doing. But I didn't regret it. I knew I probably should, but I didn't. It felt right, while I was doing it. Now…now I didn't know what I felt. I just kept staring at her, staring at me. She looked confused. And a little scared. And really, _really _surprised. And my mind was racing. What was she going to say? What was she going to do? Was she mad? I guess I wouldn't really be surprised if she was. She was kind of seeing this guy – well, they'd gone on like three dates, but they weren't official or anything. She wasn't even sure if she really liked him. His name was Wesley, and he was a douchebag. I never thought he was a douchebag until today. Actually, I'd never actually met him for more than about a minute. But now, I thought he was the biggest douchebag alive, and I wanted to kill him. Was she going to fucking say something or not? I felt like she was staring at me for hours, but I guess it was probably more like a few seconds.

And then she kissed me. _She _kissed me. She _really _kissed me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I practically fell backwards onto my bed. And I was thinking a million things, but I'm pretty sure they were all good things.


	3. Chapter 3

I opened my eyes a little and glanced at my alarm clock – 8:00am. I was pretty sure we were supposed to go to the studio today, but probably not until eleven like usual. I'd had the weirdest dream.

I heard a soft moan next to me and my eyes widened. I rolled over and saw a mess of red hair spread across one of my pillows. Oh my God. But she slept in here a lot, so there was nothing to freak out about. I lifted up the covers a little and looked underneath.

Oh my God, there was a lot to freak out about. It wasn't a dream. Lexi was there, in my bed, naked. We had sex. I had sex with my best friend. What the hell was I thinking?

She looked so beautiful, sleeping next to me. I touched her cheek softly. I couldn't help it. She was gorgeous.

Bad idea. I woke her up. I froze. What was I supposed to say? Was she going to say something? She looked like she was internally panicking just as much as I was.

"Um…breakfast?" she said, holding the sheets close to her body to cover herself and avoiding eye contact with me.

"Yeah, I'm starving," I agreed quickly. Anything to get out of there.

We both pulled our clothes on at world-record speed and hurried out of my bedroom and down to the kitchen. I knew we should talk about this. And we would, eventually. But there were two people I needed to talk to first – Nate and Jason.

Nate was already in the kitchen when we got there. He nodded some form of acknowledgement to us without actually looking up from the newspaper. The only page he ever read of the newspaper, at least – sports. Lexi poured two cups of coffee and handed one to me.

"I'm going to the gym, bye," she muttered and kissed me on the cheek before grabbing her gym bag and disappearing outside.

Did a kiss on the cheek mean something? She wasn't mad? That was what she normally did – was she cool with this?

"Shane, how can you sleep next to her and not…" Nate started, as usual.

"I did."

"What?"

"I did," I repeated, still trying to believe it myself. "We did. We had sex."

His face lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning. "Jason, get in here!"

"What's up?" Jason ducked his head into the kitchen.

"Sit down," Nate ordered him, a wide grin still plastered across his face. "They finally did it."

"You slept with Lexi?!" Jason practically shouted.

He sat down at the table with us. He was obviously as excited as Nate. At least _somebody_ was enjoying this, I guess.

"Was it awesome?" they both asked at the same time.

"Can you just be serious for a minute, please?" I begged them.

Jason laughed. "Dude, you have to tell us. How was it?"

I really didn't want to admit it. All it would do is add another layer to this complicated mess I was in. But I knew they wouldn't be any kind of help until they got the answer.

I rested my head in my hands. "It was incredible. Like…the best, ever."

"I knew it!" Nate shouted triumphantly. "I knew she _had_ to be awesome in bed!"

"So you finally realized that you're in love with her," Jason smiled at me. "About time. What made it click?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not in love with Lexi."

They both started laughing at me. What was their problem? They were supposed to help me figure out what the hell to do, and they were taunting me?

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not," I repeated.

"Shane, how do you feel when you see Lexi?" Nate asked.

What was he getting at? "Happy?"

"How happy?"

"Um…really happy?" I replied. "If you're trying to make a point, I'd appreciate it if you could just make it already."

"I mean, if you're having a really, _really_ bad day, and then you see her, how do you feel?" he asked.

"I don't understand the question," I said, obviously annoyed. "I mean, everything's perfect when I'm with her."

"Yeah, exactly," he nodded.

"But she's my best friend…"

"Shane, you're my best friend, and I don't have sunshine and rainbows coming out of my ears every time you walk into a room," Nate said. "If I'm pissed off, I'm still pissed off when you get there."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Dude, why do you think you dump every girl after one date because of stupid little bullshit reason?" Jason asked. "Like, she ordered a hamburger, or her eyebrows weren't identical the way she plucked them, or she had a freckle that was darker than her other freckles…"

Those all seemed like valid reasons to dump a girl to me. Probably because he was using actual examples. "I'm just picky when it comes to women."

"Yeah, really picky," he agreed. "Because if they're not Lexi, you're not interested."

"That's not true."

"Name one flaw that Lexi has," Nate dared me.

That was easy. She does plenty of things that annoy me. She always says she isn't hungry and then she ends up eating my food. She puts about a million packets of Splenda in her coffee – I don't even know how she drinks it that sweet. She makes me listen to Britney Spears in the car all the time. She drags me to the mall and makes me sit around while she tries on the same shirt in six different colors. But I just don't think of those things as flaws, I guess. They're annoying, yeah, but they're kind of cute, too, and it's the little things like that, that make me…

"Oh my God, I love her."

"Don't sound so excited…" Jason said sarcastically.

What the hell was I supposed to do now? At some point last night, I'd come to terms with the fact that I had feelings for her…but _love_? I'm not even sure I've ever been in love with anyone before. Was it supposed to be this scary? I felt like I was going to puke. I don't think that's what love is supposed to be like.

"This is terrible!"

They both looked at me awkwardly. "I don't really think that's a normal reaction, dude."

Of course they wouldn't get it. Anything that involved sex could have no downsides in their minds.

"I'm going to lose my best friend," I told them.

"No, you won't," Nate assured me. "It will be even better."

Maybe it could be. I don't know. I loved the idea of being able to kiss her, _really _kiss her like I did last night, any time I want. Whenever I thought of the future, I never thought about having a wife and kids – I thought about sitting on the couch with Lexi, watching a movie and eating popcorn, like we'd done every Sunday night since we were twelve. But maybe they weren't mutually exclusive.

"But what if she doesn't love me back?"

**A/N: Pleeeeease review. I see you people adding it to your alerts and not reviewing…**


	4. Chapter 4

I heard my door creak open and tiny footsteps make their way around my bed, just like almost every other night. But now, it was different. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. The other side of my bed sunk a little as she crawled under my covers.

I had waited all morning for her to come back from the gym. She did, eventually – right as we were leaving to go to the studio. I asked her if we could talk when I got back, and she said okay. And then she winked at me. My misguided love gurus told me that a wink meant she didn't want to talk, she wanted to have sex. I said that we should talk first, right? At which point I was told I needed to get my priorities straight and had ten minutes worth of gay jokes directed towards me. These guys are deep, really.

When we got home, her car wasn't there. There was a note on the counter that said: _movie night at Mitchie's with the girls. Be home __late__! xoxo_. The cupid twins said that the emphasis on "late" meant she _definitely _wanted to have sex.

So when she hadn't gotten home around midnight, I got into bed. I knew I wasn't going to be able to be able to sleep, but at least if I was in bed, it wouldn't look like I had been waiting up for her. My dim-witted matchmakers said that would look desperate. I had been lying there for a couple hours, really bothered by the fact that in between the manicures and the pillow fights, or whatever the hell girls do when they're alone, they were probably talking about me. About what happened. About what Lexi was feeling. Why should they get to know before I do?

"Shane? Are you awake?" she whispered.

I rolled over and touched her cheek gently. "Yeah, babe. I'm awake."

She looked so perfect with the moonlight hitting her fair skin. I loved seeing her in the dark. I pressed my lips against hers. I snaked my arm around her waist and pulled her body closer to mine, right where she belonged. I felt her push against my chest as she broke the kiss and squirm out of my arms.

"What are you doing?" Lexi asked me uncomfortably.

"Isn't that why you came here…?"

"No. God, Shane! I just wanted to talk!" she replied. She got out of my bed and started to leave.

I made a mental note to kill Dumb and Dumber for convincing me that she really wanted to sleep with me tonight.

"Lexi, wait," I said, putting my feet on the floor and following after her. I took her hand and brought her back to my bed to sit down. "Did you want to talk about last night?"

"No," she replied, almost annoyed. "What is there to talk about?"

What was she saying? Was she being serious? Lexi was always the first to want to talk about any little issue we had. She always wanted to talk things out, to get everything out in the open. But she didn't think there was anything to say about the fact that we slept together?

"There's a lot to talk about, Alexa," I replied. I only used her real name when I was really, _really_ serious, and the look on her face told me that she understood that. "Everything is different now."

"No, it's not," she said simply, standing up and walking towards the door.

"Well, Lex, I'm sorry I'm not as good as you at pretending it was no big deal. I'm freaking out, how can you just act like it didn't happen?" I asked, angrier that I had meant to sound.

She spun around and looked at me, and I could see the tears welling in her eyes. "You think I'm not freaking out, Shane? I'm scared to death. I just want everything to go back to normal. I want everything to be like it was before."

"It's can't, Lexi. It can never be the same," I told her. I knew that she knew it. "And I'm not sure that I want it to."

"What are you talking about? Why not?" she asked.

"Because…because I think I'm in love with you, Lexi."

"What?!"

That was about the reaction I expected, I guess. I took her hands and sat her down next to me again. I didn't really know what to say, so I just started talking. "Do you remember sophomore year when you got your first boyfriend?"

"Jesse McPherson? So?" she asked.

"I was so jealous," I admitted.

"You were?"

"Yeah. And at the time, I thought it was because I had been the only guy in your life for so long, and then all of the sudden there was someone else…but I know now it was because I didn't get to kiss you the way he did. I wanted it to be me. Nate said something to me yesterday that really got me thinking, and then I saw you and…you aren't the little girl I used to know. And I can't pretend that you are anymore. Lexi, every time you walk into a room, every time I hear your voice on the phone…everything is perfect. The girls I go out with, even the ones I really like, they don't make me feel half as happy I feel as I do when I'm with you. When I go out with them, I can't help but think about how much more fun I would be having if it was _you_ there with me instead of her. And I guess I didn't realize it for so long because there wasn't a defining moment like with other girls, when I knew I liked them as more than a friend, or that I was falling in love with them…because I've always been in love with you."

"Shane…" Lexi started. I had never seen someone look that terrified. "Everything was perfect before last night. And then you kissed me and it was…even better, for a little while. I felt like everything was falling into place. Like that was how it was supposed to be, and everything was finally right. And then I woke up this morning and everything was so screwed up. And all day I've been thinking about how much I hated all the girls you ever went out with. I thought it was because I didn't think that any of them were good enough for you, but…it was because it should have been me. It always…it _always_ should have been me."

There are no words to describe how amazing it was to hear her say that. I leaned in to kiss her, but she ducked it again.

"Shane, don't. It doesn't matter if I like you, or love you, or whatever…"

"Do you?" I interrupted her. "Love me?"

Her eyes saddened and she sighed. "Yes, Shane, but I don't want to. You're my best friend. I don't know where I would be without you, and…I don't want to lose that. I can't."

"You won't, Lex. I'm not going anywhere," I promised her, and I meant it. "But if we both feel this way about each other, we should be together. I'll still be your best friend."

"What if it didn't work out?" Lexi asked quietly.

"It will. Look at everything we've already been through together. We can get through anything. And if it doesn't…we have too much history not to be friends. No matter what."

She smiled a little, so I guess she believed me. She didn't say anything, so I figured I would try to kiss her again, and this time she let me. At least, she let me for a minute. When I put my hand on her thigh, she pulled away from me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and then she stood up and left.

I think I could hear God laughing at me somewhere. This had to be some kind of "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" trick he was playing on me. What the hell did I do to deserve this? I've been a decent human being for the past twenty years. Give me a break.

I went to her room. She was throwing some clothes into her backpack.

"Lexi, where are you going?" I asked and took the bag from her hands. "Talk to me."

She sighed. "Shane, this is just too weird. I mean…it's _you_ and _me._ We don't make out, we don't have sex, we don't…"

"Relationships change, babe. They _evolve_. You can't stop it…so just let it happen, okay?" I begged her.

I cupped her face in my hands and she was quiet for a minute. I was usually pretty decent at reading her mind, but I had no idea what she was thinking. I just didn't understand how she could love me but not want to be with me. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of being in love?

"I need to think," she finally said. She picked up her backpack again and threw it over her shoulder. "I'm going to stay with Caitlin for a few days. Please don't call me."

She kissed me quickly and started to walk towards the door.

"Lexi…" I said desperately. She looked over her shoulder at me, and I guess I don't really know what heartbreak feels like, but I'm pretty sure I was feeling it. She was walking away from me. "But Lex…we were made for each other."

And then she disappeared and left me standing in her room. Alone.


	5. Chapter 5

I practically lunged across my bedroom when I heard Lexi's ringtone – "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga, her favorite song – start playing on my phone. I almost knocked my laptop off of my desk in the process, but I didn't really care at the time. I hadn't heard from her in four days, which I'm pretty sure is the longest we've ever gone without talking since we met. I made Nate call Caitlyn about twenty times a day and try to get information from her, but that girl knows how to keep a secret. I'd always considered that one of her best features, but lately it just made me want to strangle her.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me," Lexi whispered. She always said that, as if her ringtone and her name on the caller ID hadn't tipped me off.

It was so good to hear her voice. "Why are you whispering?"

"I'm at the library with my study group," she told me. "We have a test tomorrow. We're taking a break for a few minutes."

She _would_ be at the library at midnight. The university library was open 24/7, and she took full advantage of it when she had tests. She thought if she was here, she'd just end up watching movies with me…actually, that was probably true.

"What class?" I asked, though I didn't really care. I just didn't think it would be a good idea to start out with 'so can I be your boyfriend or what?'

"Arabic," she replied.

She took the weirdest classes. She said that since she had no idea what she wanted to do with her life, she would try a little of everything until something kept her attention. It was a good idea, I guess, but every time she talks about it, I just thank God I have music and don't have to worry about all that crap. College sounds like it sucks.

"Hey, Shane? Let's do it."

Huh?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean…" she said. "Let's…_evolve_."

I'm amazed that I didn't start screaming out of total happiness. "Really?"

"Yeah, really," she replied. "You said it…if we both feel this way about each other, we should be together."

This would be the part where I picked her up, spun her around, and kissed her like crazy if she was here. And if I wasn't so damn happy, I would be pissed that she wasn't here. "Come home."

She giggled. It was SO DAMN CUTE. "I think I'm going to stay at Caitlyn's tonight…I don't know how much studying I'll get done if I come home. But I'll be done with my classes around one tomorrow. Do you want to have lunch?"

"Like, a date?" I smirked. How cool is that? I was going to take Lexi on a date. "We're going to the studio at eleven, I think…but will you come, when you're done? We can take a break and go out to eat."

"Then I guess it's a date," she replied, and I could tell she was smiling. I couldn't wait to actually see her smile again. It killed me to think about the last time I saw her, when she was crying so much. "I have to go, we have to finish going over the last chapter."

"Okay. I love you."

I wanted to say it about a million times. _I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you._

"I love you, too. Goodnight."

Oh man, I wanted to _hear _it a million times.

I tossed my cell phone back onto my nightstand. She loved me. She was my girlfriend, and she loved me. I was so excited I didn't even know what to do with myself. My first thought was to go tell Nate and Jason. But, in a weird way, I kind of just wanted to enjoy it by myself for a little while. Anyways, as soon as I told them, they would just start talking about sex. I could tell them in the morning. I'd barely slept since Lexi left, but now that I had some peace of mind – okay, complete and total peace of mind because my life was pretty much perfect at the moment and, oh yeah, _she loves me_ – I knew I would be able to sleep. And the faster I went to sleep, the faster it would be morning, and the faster I would get to see _my girlfriend._

"Shane!"

I groaned and glanced up at my clock. It was 3:46am, and Nate was screaming at me from the other side of my bedroom door. I had been sleeping _amazingly _and his dumbass had to wake me up. I hated when he did this shit. Last time it was because I ate his leftovers. I could only imagine what it was this time. But he couldn't bring me down today. After Lexi's test, I was taking her out to lunch. On a date. Because she's my girlfriend, so I can do stuff like that. I am **loving** this, can you tell?

"Shane!"

"What?" I shouted back, praying that he heard the annoyance in my voice and left me the hell alone.

"Someone just called for you!"

Has he ever heard of taking a message? I can read. Writing it down would have been sufficient. Though, with his handwriting, I guess I was taking my chances. Who would call me at 4am, anyways?

I heard the door open and glared at him. "Okay, what the hell is so important?"

"Shane, it was the hospital."

My dad. My dad had been diagnosed with diabetes last year. He was really good about eating right and everything, but sometimes he forgot to check his blood sugar levels. He'd been in the hospital this year once before, when it got too low. He had been home alone and passed out or something. The doctor said that if my mom hadn't gotten home so soon after it happened, he could have died. We were all paranoid about leaving him alone now, but it's not like we could hire a babysitter to watch him. I'd been dreading the day mom didn't find him in time.

"Is he okay?" I asked quietly, praying for good news.

"He?" Nate asked. "Shane…it's Lexi."

I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating. No, it wasn't Lexi. Whatever 'it' was, it wasn't Lexi. Not _my _Lexi.

"She's okay."

Thank God. I jumped out of bed and looked around frantically for my car keys before I realized that Nate was holding my jacket out to me.

"Jason's already in the car, come on," he told me.

Its times like these I'm glad they know me so well. We both hurried downstairs and he explained to me what else he knew. And at that moment, I was also glad that Jason was a really bad driver and would probably double the speed limit to get to the hospital.

"She was walking back to her car and someone attacked her. It was late, and dark, I guess."

I always told her not to walk by herself at night, but did she listen? Never. "What do you mean, _attacked_?"

"I don't know, like, tried to rob her, I guess?" he suggested.

My worry, for a second, turned to some serious anger. Somebody hurt my girlfriend? I'm gonna kill that motherfucker. As Jason pulled up to the hospital, though – and what did I tell you? Record time – all I could think about was Lexi.

We all ran into the hospital and up to the front desk.

"Where's Alexa Kennedy?" I asked urgently.

"Are you a family member?" the nurse asked.

"I'm her boyfriend," I replied. I wish I could have taken a moment to enjoy that, but I did notice the look on the Nate and Jason's faces and gave them a 'yes, I'll explain later' look.

The woman typed something into her computer. "Room 114. Right down this hallway, it will be on the left."

"Thank you," I muttered and glanced back to the guys.

"We'll be right here."

I nodded and tore down the hallway. She looked up at me and smiled when I entered the room.

"Hey, sweetie."

I sat next to her on the hospital bed and touched her hair. She had a black eye. Okay, I was _seriously_ going to kill that motherfucker. Seriously. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she assured me. "Don't I look fine? Two broken ribs. No biggie, I've got 22 more. I barely use them all, anyways."

It was so like her, to be calm and making jokes while I was freaking out. She always made the best of every situation. And she didn't put up with my complaining. I loved that about her. Not that I had much to complain about when she was around. I kissed her, and for a minute, I forgot that we were in a hospital. She was my girlfriend, and I could kiss her as much as I wanted to now.

"I love you, baby," I told her. "What happened?"

I heard footsteps behind me and looked towards the door. Two police officers walked in.

"Alexa? I'm Officer Matthews, and this is Officer Hunter. We need to ask you a few questions."

"Sure," she nodded.

She was brave. She always had been. When we were little, _she _was the one who made sure there were no monsters in the closet before we went to sleep. But she laced her fingers in between mine, and I knew she was a little scared.

"Can you tell us what happened?" the taller one, who I guess was Officer Hunter, asked.

"Yeah. I was walking back to my car…I'd been studying at the library. I have a test tomorrow. Or…today, I guess," she started.

"Around what time?"

"1:30ish, I think. I was almost to my car, and then this guy grabbed me and covered my mouth with his hand. He told me not to scream. He pushed me down onto the pavement, and he kicked me, on my side. And then he, um…"

The officer nodded at her. I guess that was supposed to be encouraging or something. She tightened her grip on my hand. "It's okay. What did he do?"

Lexi looked down at our intertwined hands. "Shane, um…could you go get me some water?"

"I'll call the nurse and ask her to get some," I replied.

She sighed. "Could you just…leave, for a few minutes?"

What? She knew I wasn't going to leave her. Why would she want me to? She needed me there, with her. She tells me everything – what could she possibly have to tell them that she didn't want me to hear?

And then, it hit me. "Did he…did he _rape you_?"

She closed her eyes and bit her lip. That's what she always did right before she was trying really hard not to cry. "Just leave, please. For a few minutes. Go tell the guys I'm okay."

I'd never really known what it was like to be in complete shock until then. My jaw dropped and I just stared at her for a few minutes. And then I nodded, got up, and walked out of the room. I don't actually remember walking back to the waiting room, but all of the sudden I was sitting next to Nate. Caitlyn was there now, too.

"Shane? What's going on?"

I couldn't stop myself from crying. Not her. Not Lexi. She was so amazing, she didn't deserve this. I should have been there to protect her. If only I had told her not to walk in the dark before I hung up the phone. Not that she would have listened, but still.

"He raped my baby."

None of them really said anything. I wasn't surprised – what the hell are you supposed to say? Caitlyn sat down next to me and hugged me. I just prayed that I would wake up and this would all go away, and I would be in my bed, with Lexi in my arms.

And then, not that there's really a 'right thing' to say in this situation, but Jason came pretty damn close.

"So…where are we gonna hide that motherfucker's body?"

**A/N: Why yes, I did name the police officers in honor of **_**Boy Meets World**_**. I had up to here written before I started posting, but now I actually have to start writing again…I'll try to keep updates coming every couple days. Not like college = tons of homework or anything, right…? I have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen overall, at least as far as this part is concerned, but I have to figure out how it is all going to work, exactly…REVIEW!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

Jason and I had been sitting anxiously in the kitchen for an hour. We'd sent Nate to the store when we realized that we didn't have any yellow apples. Lexi could probably live off of yellow apples – but she hated red and green ones. We wanted her to have everything she could possibly want. We were trying to act natural, but we had no idea how to even do that. We'd been waiting for Lexi to wake up, so we could see how she was doing. It was 11am, which was way later than she ever slept, but the doctor had warned us that the pain medications she was taking might have that effect. The fact that we didn't get her home from the hospital until six o'clock in the morning probably had something to do with it, too. To be perfectly honest, I hadn't slept at all. I'd been sitting in my room, trying to think of everything I could possibly do to help make this better.

Nate ran into the kitchen with a huge stack of papers and dropped them on the table. I picked one up and glanced at it – tabloids. On the cover was a picture of me and Lexi, taken a couple weeks ago when we'd gone grocery shopping. It amazed me that people really cared about that stuff. Oh my God, rock stars have to _eat_?! Fascinating! Lexi was in the gossip magazines practically as much as I was. Probably because we're always together, I guess. Apparently, she was becoming quite the little fashion icon herself. She'd always had her own style.

Anyways, across the picture, in huge letters, it read: "Shane Gray's girlfriend: RAPED".

"How do they know she's my girlfriend?" I asked, not really expecting an answer.

I got one anyways, from Jason, who had one of the copies flipped open to the article. "There are obviously some nurses who can overlook patient confidentiality if the price is right. Look, they know that there were two police officers there, that she has two broken ribs, that you were crying in the waiting room, that Caitlyn was there, too…"

"Well, I bought them all," Nate interrupted. "So at least if she goes to our grocery store, she won't see them."

"No, she'll just see them on the kitchen table," Jason pointed out. "Where the hell are you going to hide these?"

"Don't hide them anywhere," Lexi smiled, walking into the kitchen. "I've already checked Perez this morning."

Lexi _loved _Perez Hilton. She always kept us up to date on all of the bizarre rumors going around about us. I introduced them about a year ago, and they were actually pretty good friends, so I was kind of annoyed that he would write about what had happened to her, but I guess that's his job. He was probably a lot more sensitive about it than other bloggers were going to be, at least.

"You don't have to protect me, guys. I knew it would get out. That's just the price I pay for putting up with you three…"

She winced in pain as she tried to reach for a coffee mug on a high shelf. I raced towards her and led her to one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

"Will you just take it easy? The doctor said…"

"Two weeks, blah blah blah," she interrupted me as I made her sit down. She hated doing nothing.

I poured her a cup of coffee and handed it to her before I sat down next to her. She looked at me pitifully.

"What the hell am I supposed to do for two weeks?"

I was excited to reveal phase one of my 'make you forget this ever happened' plan. "I'm glad you asked. I went to Blockbuster this morning and rented every movie Julia Roberts has ever been in, and it will take us probably a week to watch them all, right?"

She grinned. Julia Roberts was her favorite actress of all time, even when we were little. I swear to God, the week that _Hook _came out on VHS was the longest of my life. She made me watch it three times a day. In a row. Seriously. "Even _My Best Friend's Wedding_?"

I lied. _That _was the longest week of my life. It was her favorite movie, which I would never watch with her. It was so cheesy, I couldn't even handle it.

"No," I replied, and she gave me a pouty look. "I bought that one."

She smiled happily and kissed me, which of course incited whistles and cat calls from Nate and Jason, but I didn't care. At least for that moment, she was happy, and that's the only thing that was important to me.

"We'll leave you two alone…" Nate said suggestively. "But let us know if you need anything…"

I waved them off, not breaking the kiss. I never wanted to. Then we never had to go back to reality, to what had happened. Then maybe she'd never have to be sad.

"Come on," I whispered, helping her up and leading her into the living room to the couch. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she smiled.

"Do you want to, um…talk, or something?" I asked nervously. The doctor said it would be good to encourage her to talk about what had happened. "I mean…do you want to tell me about last night?"

"No, not really," she said simply. She took a sip of her coffee and glanced at the Julia Roberts DVDs I had piled up on the coffee table. "Which one do you want to watch first? There's so many to choose from…"

"Alexa, I want you to tell me what happened. Please."

"How about chronologically? We'll start with her earliest and work up to _Fireflies in the Garden_. And then we can go see _Duplicity _at the theater! Or maybe we could go to the premiere! It's the older ones I haven't seen, anyways. So that means we'll start with _Satisfaction_…" she thought aloud.

She totally ignored my serious voice. I even used her full name! I didn't really know what to think about that. She had flat-out said 'no,' she didn't want to talk to me about something. She'd never kept something from me before. Ever. And this was kind of a big thing.

I didn't want to know, but at the same time, I did. It would be hard to hear, and I never wanted to imagine her going through anything bad, but I kind of felt like I needed to hear it. I needed to know exactly what she had gone through because, in a way, I felt like part of me had gone through it, too. She_ was_ a part of me. A _huge_ part of me. She always had been. And I could help her better if I knew what had happened.

She started to stand up to put the disk in the DVD player, so I gave up my attempt to talk about it for now and took the DVD from her so she would sit down.

"I know you hate it, but for the next two weeks, you're going to have to learn how to let _me _take care of _you_ for a change, okay?" I told her once I had started the movie and sat down next to her again.

She curled up next to me and rested her head on my chest. I put a blanket over both of us and put my arm around her. "I guess _maybe _I could get used to that…"

I kissed the top of her head and pressed the 'play' button on the remote control. "Good, because you don't actually have a choice."

**A/N: Lame filler chapter, I know, sorry. I'll post the next chapter tomorrow to make up for it.**


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing. 2am. Why is this becoming like, a pattern? I'm really not loving it. Especially now, when I assume it means someone is dead.

"What?" I groaned to whoever was on the other end of the conversation.

"Shane? It's Caitlyn."

_That _woke me up. Lexi was with Caitlyn. After her two weeks of 'taking it easy' were up, I knew the first thing she would want to do – go dancing. And I was right. We all went – me, Lex, Jason, Nate, Caitlyn, Mitchie, and Ella – but the guys and I left early. I didn't want to leave her. I'd barely left her side since she got home from the hospital, which included cancelling all of our recording sessions. Now, we had to go to the studio really early to make up for that, so we went home to get some sleep. She was in good hands, so I wasn't really worried. I knew the girls would watch her like hawks, probably just as much as I would if I was there.

"What's up?"

"Lexi is out of control," she told me. Lexi? Out of control? My brain couldn't even comprehend that. "She had a lot to drink after you left and now we're trying to leave and she won't come with us. She's been dancing in the DJ booth for like an hour and she keeps saying that he'll take her home."

"_He_?" I replied. No 'he' was taking her _anywhere_. Over my dead body. "Who is it?"

I heard her asking someone who the DJ was. "Jam? What the hell kind of name is that?"

"Hell no," I said immediately. Lexi had met him a few times, but I knew him better than she did, and he was a total scumbag. I didn't even want him to look at her, let alone drive her anywhere. "Don't leave her with him. I'm on my way."

I grabbed my keys and drove to the club quickly. I didn't get it – Lexi barely ever drank, and when she did, it wasn't much. She especially made a point not to do it in public, because of the paparazzi. The bartenders knew who we all were, and they would always serve us whatever we wanted, even though other than Jason, we were all underage. We always stayed in the VIP section, though, where there were no paparazzi, and everyone else in there was usually doing worse than taking a shot of tequila even though you were 20 instead of 21, anyways.

Another thing I love about being famous is that I don't have to wait in line at clubs. I walked right passed the security guards and straight to the DJ booth. Sure enough, Lexi was still up there dancing. If I wasn't so pissed about her being anywhere near that asshole, I'd probably be thinking about how sexy she looked. She had always been an incredible dancer.

I waved to Caitlyn, who looked relieved to see me, and hurried up the stairs to the DJ booth. "Lexi!"

She spun around and a huge grin spread across her face when she saw me. "Shaney!"

She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately. Instinctively, I my hands snake around her waist and I pulled her closer to me, but I caught myself and broke the kiss quickly. Now was not the time or place for that, no matter how hot she looked in that little black dress. I'm sure a million cell phones just took pictures that would be on the cover of the tabloids tomorrow. Everyone probably knew we were together, but we hadn't 'gone public' with it yet. I guess that's taken care of. "Lexi, let's go home, okay?"

"But I'm having fun!"

"We can have fun at home, too," I told her.

Unfortunately, not the kind of fun I wanted to have with her. Give me a break, I'm a 20-year old guy. But I'm also a gentleman, and I didn't want our first time as an actual couple to be when she was trashed out of her mind. And I didn't want her to do anything that she wasn't actually ready for, no matter how good of an idea it seemed to be at this moment. But after only kissing her for the three weeks following the best sex of my life, you can sure as hell bet it was all I was thinking about.

"I love you, Shane Michael Gray," she proclaimed.

"I love you so much, Alexa Marie Kennedy," I replied. "So let me take you home, please?"

She smiled and nodded. I put my arm around her waist and led her out of the club, closely followed by Caitlyn, Mitchie, and Ella.

"Thanks, Shane," Caitlyn said. "I'm sorry you had to get out of bed for this."

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad you called. Is one of you good to drive?"

"Yeah, I didn't drink," she told me. "I'll see you guys later. Goodnight."

"Goodnight!" Lexi shouted happily/drunkenly to her friends. "I love you guys! I had so much fun!"

I got her in the car and took her home. By the time we got there, she'd calmed down a lot and looked pretty tired, so I took her upstairs and helped her find something to sleep in.

"Can I sleep in your room?" she asked sweetly. She hadn't since _it _happened.

"Of course," I replied, sweeping her off her feet and carrying her to my bedroom. "You never have to ask."

She crawled under the covers and snuggled close to me. I had missed this _so much_.

"I love you, baby."

Lexi smiled and kissed me. Then she started kissing my neck, and her hands ran down my torso to the waistband of my sweatpants. God, I hate having morals.

"Lexi, not tonight, okay? You're drunk," I told her.

"Yes, tonight," she whispered seductively in my ear.

I needed to take about 80 cold showers in a row. Seriously.

"No, Lex. I don't want you to do something you're going to regret when you're sober."

She stopped groping me and looked me in the eyes seriously. She looked desperate. "Shane, I need another time."

"Another time for what? What do you mean?" I asked.

"Another time to remember when I think about the last time I had sex," she replied, before she continued to kiss my neck.

I let her, for a minute. I was just kind of shocked by what she had said. That was the first thing she had said about it to me, and as far as I know to anyone, since it happened.

I pulled away from her again and made her look at me. "Alexa, the last time wasn't sex. It was rape. Think about the time before that, with me. You may think you're ready now, but you may realize that you're not when you can think more clearly. If tomorrow, when you're sober, you still want to do this, then we'll do it, and we'll make it special. But it shouldn't be like this."

She sighed and gave me that look that meant she knew I was right. She lied down on her side of the bed again and rolled over so that her back was to me. I guess she was probably embarrassed that I had turned her down.

"I love you, Shane," she whispered to me.

"I love you, too."

I wrapped my arms around her and thought more about what she had said. I would try to talk to her more about it when I got back from the studio tomorrow, but right now while she was drunk it was probably pointless. After a little while, I fell asleep. The best sleep I'd had in awhile, with her in my arms. At least, for a couple hours.

"Stop, please."

I woke up when I heard Lexi's voice. "What, baby?"

"Please don't hurt me," she muttered.

She was still asleep. She'd never been one to talk in her sleep, but it wasn't really hard to guess what she was dreaming about.

"Lexi, wake up," I said, shaking her lightly.

"Let me go."

I shook her harder. "Lex! Wake up, it's just a dream."

Her eyes shot open quickly and she looked around frantically for a moment, eventually focusing her gaze on me.

"Hey, its okay, you're safe. I'm not going to let anybody hurt you," I told her.

Lexi looked at me nervously. "What are you talking about?"

"Have you been dreaming about it a lot?"

"Dreaming about what?" she asked, forcing a small laugh.

"Lexi, you were talking in your sleep. I heard you," I replied. Why was she playing dumb?

"I don't talk in my sleep," she told me. "I wasn't dreaming about anything."

She rolled over onto her side and I was left staring at her back.

"Lexi…"

"Goodnight, sweetie," she interrupted me.

I lied on my back and looked up at the ceiling. She used her 'this conversation is over' tone. Anyways, she was probably still a little too drunk to get straight answers out of her. I'd ask her tomorrow, when I talked to her about her earlier comment. But I couldn't sleep knowing that she was reliving it, even when she was safe next to me.


	8. Chapter 8

I was relieved, and a little nervous, to see Lexi's car in the driveway when we got home from the studio. I had to talk to her about the things she said last night. It'd been bothering me all day. I looked in the kitchen and the living room, but she wasn't in either, so I went upstairs to her bedroom. The door was closed, so I knocked.

"Um…who is it?" she called.

"It's me, babe."

"Oh, uh…hang on…just a second…"

After a moment, she opened the door and hugged me. She sounded like she was out of breath.

"How was the studio?" she asked happily.

"It was good…" I replied. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah! I'm great! How are you?"

"I'm…actually, I wanted to talk to you about something," I told her.

I took her hand and led her over to her bed so we could sit down. She looked like she hadn't slept in a week. Her eyes were all bloodshot. It was weird. Maybe she'd been crying. Honestly, it's about time. Isn't that the normal reaction to what she had gone through? I'd barely seen her frown since it happened. I'm not a psychologist or whatever, but I'm pretty sure that's not normal.

"What's up?" she asked obliviously.

"I wanted to talk to you about last night," I explained. "About what you said."

"What are you talking about?"

She wasn't going to make this easy, was she?

I sighed. "You know, what you said about…when you said you needed to have sex with me so when you thought about the last time you did, it wouldn't be…"

And then she did something I really didn't expect. She started laughing. "That's ridiculous. Why would I say something like that? I didn't say that."

What?

"Yes, you did," I told her. "Maybe you don't remember, because you were drunk, but you said it."

"Well, even if I did, I was drunk. You can't take what I say when I'm drunk seriously."

"What is it you always tell me? 'Drunken words are sober thoughts'?" I quoted her.

She stopped smiling. "That's not the same thing. Anyways, did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted to have sex with you because you're my boyfriend? Because I love you? This is stupid. Can we talk about something else?"

"Okay, what about your dream?"

"What dream?" she asked. "How would you know what I was dreaming about?"

"You were talking in your sleep," I reminded her.

"I don't talk in my sleep."

Why was she being so difficult? This was ridiculous.

"Well, no, not usually, but you did last night. Do you dream about it a lot?" I asked her, taking her hand in mine.

"Dream about what?"

"Lexi, why are you being like this? You were saying 'please don't hurt me' and 'let me go.' It wasn't hard to figure out what you were dreaming about. I just want you to be honest with me, is that so hard?" I asked, getting frustrated.

She smiled and kissed my cheek. "Are you sure _you _weren't the one dreaming, Shane? Come on, we should make something for dinner."

"Lexi…"

"Come on," she repeated.

She took my hand and led me downstairs to the kitchen. Why wouldn't she just talk to me? Not that I ever _wanted_ her to be upset, but I just didn't buy that she was raped and it didn't affect her in the slightest bit. Especially not after the things she said last night.

Nate came into the kitchen behind me while Lexi was busy pulling ingredients out of the fridge.

"Is she okay?" he asked me quietly.

I'd told the guys about last night when we were on our way to the studio. They were worried about her, too. Nate kept saying that we should make her go talk to someone – a therapist, or something. But if I couldn't even get her to admit to me that she wasn't perfectly okay, I doubt I could convince her to tell a stranger.

"How the hell would I know? I'm just her boyfriend," I replied sarcastically. "According to her, I made the whole thing up."

"She said that? Seriously?"

I nodded. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the living room.

"Shane, this isn't normal," he told me, as if I didn't already realize that. "Nobody is fine after they get raped. I Googled this, and…"

Google was Nate's ultimate source of knowledge. He's one of those people who runs straight to WebMD every time he sneezes or has a bruise in a place he didn't remember hitting instead of going to an actual doctor. The number of times he's convinced himself that he has a rare, incurable disease would amaze you, seriously.

"…it said that some people go through some kind of denial or like, suppression phase. Like, they just pretend it never happened. Do you think that's what she's doing?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I just can't help thinking that the reason she doesn't want to talk to me about it is because I'm her boyfriend now instead of her best friend. Before we got together, she would tell me anything."

"Yeah, but nothing like this ever happened to her before, either," he reminded me.

"Yeah, but…I don't know. I just don't know what to do," I admitted. "I've never _not_ been able to fix things for her before."

"Macaroni or spaghetti?" Lexi asked, poking her head into the living room.

"Spaghetti," we both replied at the same time.

It was always spaghetti, but she always asked anyways. I supposed it's _possible _that we would all just change our pasta choice someday, but I'd say it's pretty unlikely. Before we got our record deal, we went through the whole 'starving artists' thing, and we ate macaroni and cheese for pretty much every meal. I don't think any of us ever wanted to even hear the word ever again.

"Well, we've gotta do something…" Nate said quietly after she had left.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

**A/N: I know this is probably shocking any of you who have read my other multi-chapter fics…it's going to be **_**more than eight chapters**_**. I actually have up to 12 outlined, and to finish that out there will probably need to be at least one more. I'll probably end it there, but I don't know. The possibilities are endless.**


	9. Chapter 9

I walked down the hall to Lexi's room. We were going to the premiere of _Duplicity_, as the finale of our Julia Roberts movie marathon. I couldn't say I was sad to see it end. Lexi had been freaking out all day about what she should wear when she met Julia.

She was sitting on the floor, leaning against her bed, with her knees curled up to her chest and her forehead on her knees. I knocked on the doorframe to let her know I was there and she looked up at me quickly. She looked weird. Scared? Sad? I couldn't tell. It kinda scared me.

"Oh, hey sweetie, you ready to go?" she asked me, her best fake smile painted across her face.

I could tell it was fake. I knew her. She wasn't the kind of girl to keep anything bottled up inside. She wore her heart on her sleeve. The only other time she had been like this was when her dad left. She seemed fine for months. She had everyone fooled, except for me. And then on her birthday, he didn't come see her. He didn't even call, or send a damn card. She didn't get out of bed for three days. She just cried and cried.

I knew what she was doing. I just hadn't wanted to see it.

"We're not going, Alexa," I told her. "Not until we talk."

She stood up and sat on her bed, smiling at me sweetly. "What do you want to talk about?"

I was obviously going to have to be blunt about this. All of my beating around the bush tactics clearly hadn't done shit to make this situation better over the past month. "About when you got raped."

Lexi's face fell, for a second, but then she covered it up with another fake smile. "Shane, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine? I'm fine! Don't I look fine?"

"No, you don't look fine. And you won't _feel_ fine until you talk about it. You know I'm right, Lexi. We're not leaving this room until you talk to me."

She smirked a little, but I could tell that she was uncomfortable. "The premiere is starting soon. We're going to be late! Let's talk after, okay?"

So she can pretend she's really tired when we get back and go right to sleep? Yeah right. I think she was forgetting who she was dealing with.

"Alexa…"

"Could you hand me my purse, sweetie?"

I sighed and reached for the straps of the bag, but I guess I missed and knocked it over. The contents spilled onto the floor.

"Sorry…" I started, crouching down to pick her stuff up.

"No!" Lexi practically lunged towards it, but I saw exactly what she was trying to hide from me and beat her to it.

I picked up the small bag and looked at it, shocked. I wasn't into that kind of stuff, but come on, I was a rock star. I'd been to enough parties where people were doing it. I knew what I was looking at.

"Is this _cocaine_?" I asked her, but I already knew the answer.

She knew I knew, too. She just stared at me with a horrified look on her face.

"What the hell are you doing with this, Alexa?"

She didn't answer. I hadn't really expected her to, I guess, but I didn't know what else to say, either. If I was just her best friend, she would have told me about this, I think. If I was just her best friend, she would be able to talk to me. But she didn't want to talk to her boyfriend about being raped. I guess I understood that, but it was kind of a shock. She had always told me everything, and now she felt like she had to keep things from me because I was her boyfriend. She wouldn't have anything like this in her purse if it hadn't been for the rape. The doctor had told me that some people look towards drugs, alcohol, cutting, or whatever after this kind of trauma, because they don't know how else to deal with it. But I said no, not Lexi. She'd never do anything like that.

She needed a friend. She needed her best friend. She needed to be able to talk to someone. That was the only way this was going to get better. I stood up, but kept my eyes on the bag in my hand. I couldn't look at her. If I did, she would see that I was trying my hardest not to cry.

"Alexa...I think you need your best friend right now, more than you need a boyfriend."

I glanced up at her a little, and her expression honestly broke my heart. I couldn't believe I was doing this.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked, a little angrily.

"It's not like I…"

"What do you want me to say, Shane?" she all but screamed at me. "Do you want me to tell you about how I can't breathe when I hear someone walk up behind me, even if I knowit's you? Or how I can actually _feel _him on top of me, even in my dreams? Is that what you want to hear?"

"I want to hear the truth. If that's the truth, then yes, that's what I want to hear," I told her.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough to get away from him. I'm sorry I was walking in the dark. I'm sorry you have to think about your girlfriend getting fucked by some other guy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry being with me isn't like you hoped it would be. I'm sorry you're disappointed in us. I'm sorry…"

"Whoa, Lexi, stop," I said. I put my hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Why are you sorry? None of that is your fault. I don't think that about you, and I'm not disappointed in our relationship. But you're so busy worrying about how I'm dealing with this, you're not dealing with it yourself. All I want is you, Lex, you know that…but I want you to be better. And if I have to just be your friend for awhile so you can get better, then…"

"Don't touch me."

Her voice was harsh. Harsher than she's ever been towards me. It honestly scared me to see her glaring at me like that.

I took my hands off of her shoulders. "If I have to just be your…"

"Get out."

"Lexi, don't…" I started.

"GET OUT!" she screamed at me.

She'd never looked at me like that before. She'd been angry at me plenty of times, sure, but that was _resentment_. That was _hate_. I knew she wasn't going to be _happy_, but I thought she would understand. I thought she would understand that it would just be temporary. I thought she would open up. I thought this would make things better.

I never would have left, usually. I would have stayed and made her talk to me. But that look…it scared me. I didn't know how to respond. So I turned around and walked down the hall to my room, trying to fight back the tears.

**A/N: I'm going to be really busy until probably Sunday, so I don't know if I'll get a chance to finish/upload the next chapter until then…don't hate.**


	10. Chapter 10

"_I'm only up when you're not down, don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground…it's like no matter what I do…well you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true…and I'm only me…who I wanna be…I'm only me when I'm with you_…"

I strummed my guitar absentmindedly. I guess one good thing comes out of feeling like shit – songs just come to me. I'd rather have to work at it and not feel like this, though. But I did the right thing for Lexi, though. At least, I think so. I hope so. I want her to be able to talk to me. Still, at the moment, I honestly wasn't sure she was ever going to talk to me again. Maybe I had made a mistake. A really huge mistake. The biggest mistake of my life, probably.

I glanced up and saw her standing in my doorway. I wondered how long she'd been standing there. I had recognized the sad look in her eyes before, but it was even worse now. I'd never seen someone look that miserable in my entire life. I just wanted to be able to make it all go away.

"Hey," I said quietly.

"Shane…" she started, but she wouldn't make eye contact with me. "You…_we_ are the only thing that makes me believe that things are going to be okay again someday. Don't take that away from me. Please."

"Lex, you know that I love you and that I want to be with you. But if you can't talk to me anymore because I'm your boyfriend…"

"I wouldn't want to talk to you about this even if we were just friends, Shane. I don't want to talk about it at all. Talking about it…it would make it real. It would mean that it isn't all just a bad dream," she explained.

It was weird to hear her admit that, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.

"But it is real, and it's not going to get better until you deal with it," I told her. "I need you to talk to me. Or if you really can't, talk to somebody else. But you _have _to talk to somebody about this. Otherwise…I can't be with you if I know you're just putting on a huge act so that _I _feel okay about this. I can't be with you if you're lying to me."

She nodded. "Okay. I'll talk to someone."

I picked up the bag of white powder from my nightstand. "And you can't do this shit, Alexa. Zoning out doesn't make it go away. I don't know what you were thinking. This isn't you at all. You're really scaring me."

"I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

I set my guitar down on my bed and walked over to her. I took her hands and kissed her forehead. "Stop apologizing and tell me what's going on with you."

Lexi closed her eyes for a few minutes, so I just waited for her to say something. I knew what she was doing – she was planning what she was going to say, so that maybe she wouldn't cry when she said it. She finally looked up at me and I knew she wasn't going to be able to keep from crying.

"I…" she started. "He…"

Her whole body started shaking and she crumbled into a heap on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. It broke my heart, but at the same time, I was glad she was finally getting it all off her chest. It should have happened a long time ago. I sat down on the floor next to her and put my arms around her. We must have stayed that way for ten or fifteen minutes. She just kept crying.

"It's okay, baby. Everything is going to be okay," I whispered. "He can't hurt you anymore. I'm not going to let him or anybody else hurt you like this again."

And once she finally started talking, she didn't stop. She told me everything. And even though most of it sucked to hear, and some of it even made _me_ cry, I knew that I was starting to get her back.

**A/N: Sorry that was short, but I wrote a little and planned to come back to it later, but now that I've moved on to a completely different part of the story, I'm not really in the zone to write this part. But I have the next couple chapters written! And I know how it's going to end, I think.**


	11. Chapter 11

Lexi had been doing a lot better. She was seeing a therapist, and she was finally talking about it. After about a month of therapy, she really seemed to be back to normal, and our relationship was _amazing._

Then…the guys and I had to go to Europe for three weeks to promote our new album. She had class, but I tried to get her to come with us anyways. I didn't want her to be alone, but she insisted that she would be fine.

Turns out, she wasn't alone for long. After we'd been gone a few days, we had some free time between interviews, so I called her – just like I did pretty much every time we had a few minutes of free time. I hated being away from her for so long. I would feel a little pathetic about it, but Nate was the same way being without Caitlyn. At least we could sulk together.

"Oh, hey sweetie, I can't really talk right now. I'm on my way out. I'm going to Josh's to study. Can I call you later?"

Josh? That sounded too much like a guy's name for my comfort. It's not that I didn't trust her. I didn't trust _him_, whoever the hell he was. I didn't trust any guy when it came to Lexi, other than Nate and Jason. And who _was_ this Josh guy, anyways? I'd never heard her talk about him before.

Well, I came to know a lot about Josh while we were I was gone. Way more than I wanted to hear. Way more than I wanted her to know about him. She'd just started a new semester, which meant new classes, and he was in four of her five classes. He was a senior. He was going to law school in the fall. He was _so much fun_, and _sooooo hilarious_. Every time I called her, she was either on her way to meet him, or had just gotten back.

"Oh, I was just going to meet Josh for coffee."

"I just got back from Josh's, we were studying."

"I'm on my way to the library, I'm meeting Josh there."

"Today after class, Josh and I went out for lunch."

I didn't even know this guy and I already wanted to kill him. I wasn't really sure I could hate him anymore than I did. And then, it happened.

"Hey, sweetie! Can I call you back later? Josh and I are watching a movie."

He was watching a movie. On _my_ television. Probably one of _my_ DVDs. At _my_ house. Sitting on _my_ couch. I bet he was on _my_ side of the couch, because Lexi always sat on the same side. Worst of all, he was watching a movie WITH _MY _GIRLFRIEND.

I couldn't sleep. I don't know if I slept more than a couple hours a night the entire time we were in Europe. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him in my room. In my bed. WITH MY GIRLFRIEND. I didn't actually know what he looked like, but that didn't stop my mind from making it up. And in my mind, he was one of those really muscular male models in the Armani underwear ads.

"Shane, you're making something out of nothing. Lexi would never cheat on you," Nate told me on the plane home.

"She's spent like every waking moment with her since I've been gone. That _shouldn't_ bother me?" I asked.

"Well, you and Lexi spent 'like every waking moment' together when you were just friends," Jason reminded me.

I hated when he was right. But that didn't mean I had to admit that he was. "That was different. That was…us."

"You're being paranoid," Nate assured me. "Maybe you should try trusting her, have you ever thought of that?"

"I do trust her!"

"Then why are you freaking out?" Jason asked.

Fine, whatever, he had a point. But I couldn't help it. I was freaking out. I couldn't wait for this damn plane to land so we could go home andI could be with her. So she wouldn't be with him.

When we pulled into the driveway, Lexi's car was in the driveway. So was Caitlin's, and another one, which looked like Mitchie's, at least in the dark.

"Lexi?" I called as soon as we walked through the door.

I heard her footsteps running from the kitchen. I had been so busy being jealous of what's-his-face, I hadn't even realized how excited I was to see her.

"Shaney!" she grinned, throwing her arms around my neck. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, baby."

She had a pretty yellow sundress on, and she had curled her long, red hair. She didn't curl it a lot, but I think she looked perfect when she did. Even more perfect than usual, I mean. Knowing that she had probably curled it because I was coming home made it even better. I kissed her and I couldn't remember why I ever thought she could cheat on me. We were made for each other. There would never be anybody else. And now that I was home, she wouldn't need him to keep her company. Now that I was home, everything would go back to normal.

"It smells amazing in here," I said once we finally broke the kiss.

"We wanted to make you guys' dinner," she told me, smiling over at Caitlyn. She took my hand and pulled me towards the kitchen. "All of your favorites. Come on, I want you to meet Josh."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!


	12. Chapter 12

"Well, I guess it's about time for me to go," Josh finally said. "It was really great finally meeting you guys. You're all I've heard about for the last three weeks."

"Yeah, you too," I replied with a fake smile and shook his hand.

"I'll see you in class tomorrow, Lex," he told her.

"Looking forward to it," she grinned and walked him to the door.

I was so glad to see him leave, and I hated him even more than I did before I met him, if that was possible. Because he was _awesome._ He knew a ton about music. He played the guitar, too. He listened to cool bands. He was _hilarious_. He probably _could_ be a fucking underwear model. And if Lexi _was _cheating on me with him…shit, who could blame her?

I glanced out of the kitchen towards the door. She gave him a hug before he left. She hugged everyone. It shouldn't have bothered me. I shouldn't have gotten angry.

But I did. I got _so_ angry. It wasn't even funny. I started to go upstairs.

"Where are you going?" Lexi called to me sweetly.

"Bed," I replied, not even bothering to look back at her.

"Well, give me a few minutes and I'll join you."

Damn. Not that I hadn't been waiting for three weeks to come home and sleep with her, but I didn't want to when I was this pissed off. I pulled off my shirt and changed from my jeans to a pair of baggy gym shorts to sleep in. I wasn't really ready to go to sleep – it was only about 10pm – so I started unpacking my suitcases. Or, I guess it was more like I was just throwing my clothes around in a fit of rage. Whatever.

"Hey," Lexi smiled, coming into my room and closing the door.

"Hey," I replied flatly.

She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I missed you so much, sweetie."

"Yeah, me too."

She started kissing my neck, but I just kept packing. I couldn't stop imagining her doing the same to him. Obviously, she noticed that I wasn't very responsive, because she stopped and went over to my bed and sat down.

"Come here and talk to me," she said. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing, I just wish you had the consideration not to parade your other boyfriend in front of me in my own house," I whispered to myself.

"_Excuse me?_"

Shit. Okay, first of all, I didn't mean to say that out loud. Second of all, I _definitely _didn't mean for her to hear it. Third, I didn't even mean it! I'm a jealous asshole, I know that, but I when it came down to it, I knew she wouldn't cheat on me. I trusted her. Josh was just the first guy she'd spent a lot of time with, besides Nate and Jason, since we started dating. So, yeah, I was jealous that she was spending so much time with him, but I didn't _really _think there was anything going on.

I spun around and looked at her apologetically. "Lexi, I am so, _so _sorry."

"What the hell, Shane?" she said, her voice somewhere between sad and angry. "You think Josh and I...how could you think I would do that to you?"

"Lexi, I didn't mean that _at all_," I replied quickly.

"Then what _did_ you mean?"

"I…"

It pretty much meant what it sounded like it meant, really, so I wasn't sure how I was going to explain that…other than I'm just a fucking asshole.

"I was just…"

"I can't believe you!" she said bitterly, not giving me a chance to explain. Not that I had any explanation. "What, I can't have friends now? Did you just expect me to sit at home and cry about how lonely I was while you were gone? Shane, you go all over the world and have thousands of girls throw themselves at you. But I never _once _thought that you would…"

"Lexi, I'm sorry," I interrupted her. "I was just jealous, okay?"

"No, Shane. If you trusted me, you would have no reason to be jealous."

She bolted out of my room and downstairs. She grabbed her keys from the counter and ran outside, slamming the door behind her. Caitlyn, Nate, and Jason were all still in the living room – they all looked at each other and then Caitlyn got up and went outside after her.

"Shane? What the hell did you do?" Nate shouted up to me.

I trudged down the stairs, trying to decide whether I should go after her or let her cool off a little. I found myself standing in front of my friends, who were staring up at me from their chairs expectantly.

"I didn't mean…" I started, but the sound of the door slamming stopped me.

Caitlyn stormed towards me and got as much 'in my face' as someone seven inches shorter than me really could. "You are such an asshole, Shane!"

"What the…" Nate and Jason both said. Caitlyn never raised her voice to anyone. And she definitely never called anyone an asshole.

"I know," I admitted quietly. "Is she…"

"What, Shane? Crying hysterically? Yeah, she is."

Damn. I am the biggest asshole in the world. Caitlyn was being _nice _compared to what I deserved.

"Where is she going?" I asked.

"I think you know," she replied cynically.

She stormed up the stairs to Lexi's room, probably to get some of her stuff to bring to her. Why the hell did Lexi ever want to be my girlfriend in the first place? I'm worse than the douchebags I try to protect her from. Oh wait, she _didn't _want to be my girlfriend in the first place.

"What did you say to her?" Jason asked again.

"I didn't mean for her to hear it…I didn't even mean to say it…"

"_What did you say?_" he and Nate both repeated in unison.

I sighed. I didn't even want to admit it. "I said that I wished she was considerate enough not to bring her other boyfriend to my house."

Their jaws seriously dropped. They just stared at me for a minute.

"Wow…you _are _an asshole, dude," Jason finally said.

"I know!" I replied. "I didn't even mean it…I know she wouldn't cheat on me…I just got so jealous, I…"

"What are you going to do?" Nate asked. "I think that's definitely more than a flowers and chocolate comment. And you're at a serious disadvantage because I'm definitely sure Caitlyn isn't going to help you out with this one."

"We're going to have to get creative…" Jason said, and I could tell he was already thinking.

At some point in our friendship, our love lives turned into a collective problem. We all talked about what was going on, and we all came up with a solution. It was annoying, sometimes, but I guess I only thought that because they were never usually my problems we were trying to solve. Really, it was usually just Jason. He was that guy who would hesitate before answering when a girl asked him if that dress made her look fat. We had to bail him out more times than I can count. But now that it _was _my problem, I was thanking God that I had these guys to help me figure out what the hell I was going to do. I thought loving someone was supposed to be simple. I love her, she loves me, aren't things supposed to be perfect?

And why the hell am I such an asshole?

Caitlyn walked into the kitchen quickly with Lexi's backpack, kissed Nate goodbye, glared at me, and sped out the door.

"Do you guys think I should propose to her?" Nate asked suddenly.

My jaw pretty much dropped. That comment was totally out of left field, whatever the hell that means. I was never really a baseball guy. I wasn't really interested in anything that didn't involve a guitar while I was growing up.

"_What?_" Jason and I both said at the same time.

Nate shrugged. "I mean, we've been dating for four years. That's a long time, right?"

"That doesn't mean you have to _marry_ her," Jason reminded him. "You shouldn't feel like you have to just because you've been together for a long time."

"I don't feel like I have to," Nate clarified. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that."

"Well…do you _want _to marry her?" I asked.

He thought for a moment. "I mean, eventually, yeah. We don't have to get married right away, right? We could wait awhile. But at least she would know that I wanted to, someday. Do you think?"

We both shrugged. "I guess that makes sense."

Nate nodded. "Yeah, it does. I'm gonna do it."

"Wow."

I always knew that Nate would be the first of us to get married. It was still weird to actually hear it, though. We were only twenty.

"Anyways," Nate said. "Back to you, asshole. I think we need to get Josh on our side."


	13. Chapter 13

I waited in my car outside of the building where Lexi's class was. I knew that Josh was in that class with her. After a few minutes, I saw him walk out into the parking lot alone. I got out of my car and jogged towards him.

"Josh!"

He stopped walking and looked at me. "Hey, I don't want any trouble, man."

What the hell? He thought I was going to hit him? He was a lot bigger than me. Even I wasn't _that_ stupid. And as last night proved, I'm pretty fucking stupid.

"No trouble," I promised. "Um…where's Lexi?"

"She didn't come to class today," he told me.

Lexi _never _missed class. Even the day she got out of the hospital, she was still trying to get to campus so she could take her test. This was worse than I thought. I am such a fuck-up.

"Listen, man…I just wanted to apologize. I know nothing's going on between you two, I'm just not used to her spending a lot of time with other guys, ya know? I got jealous, and pissed off, and I was an asshole," I rambled. I never really grasped the concept of thinking before you speak.

"Dude, don't apologize to me," Josh replied. He took a piece of paper out of his backpack, scribbled something on it, and handed it to me. "Apologize to her."

It was his address. Well, that was a lot easier than I thought.

"Do you think she even _wants _to see me?" I asked. It felt really shitty to have to ask another guy if _my _girlfriend wanted to see me. But I guess I deserved that.

He nodded. "Yeah, I know she does. Look, what you said…it was stupid, but she overreacted, and I think she knows that. She just doesn't want to admit it. You probably know better than anyone how stubborn she is."

"Yeah," I smirked. "The fact that you're such a good guy makes it so much harder for me to hate you."

He laughed. "I just know where you're at. When my fiancé and I first started going out, I did the same thing. More than once, actually. I couldn't figure out why a girl like her would want to be with me. I was just waiting for her to realize that I didn't deserve her."

His _fiancé_? Why hadn't Lexi just told me that he was engaged in the first place? She had to make everything so difficult.

"Anyways, if you come over at like…eight-ish, I'll make sure she's there. And _please_, get down on your knees and _beg_ her to come back if you have to, because I can't watch _My Best Friend's Wedding _one more time."

"Oh, God. I feel your pain," I laughed. "Thanks, man."

"Yeah, no problem. I'll see you later," he replied.

I walked back to my car feeling a little better. Now I just had to figure out how to show her that I was really, really sorry. But I would have to multi-task, because I was supposed to meet the guys at the studio an hour ago.

Eight o'clock took forever to get here, but it was finally time for me to go over to Josh's. I knocked on the door of apartment 404 nervously.

"Hey, man," Josh said when he opened the door and saw me there. "Let me go get her. Come on in."

"Thanks."

I waited for a couple minutes until Lexi walked into the room. She looked at me anxiously. "Hi."

"Hey," I replied, smiling uncomfortably. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she nodded.

She opened the door and I followed her out into the hallway. Neither of us said anything for a minute.

"Lexi…" I started, but I wasn't really sure what to say. I needed to choose my words carefully, I knew that much. "I'm so sorry. There's no excuse for what I said, but I hope you know that I didn't mean it. I just got so jealous…and it's not that I don't trust you, but I just think…what guy _wouldn't _want to be with you? And I'm just afraid one day you're going to wake up and realize that I don't deserve you. I'm sorry."

Okay, I totally stole that last line from Josh, but whatever. It's not like he had a copyright on it or anything.

"I _may _have overreacted a little," she admitted. "I know you didn't mean it, it just…caught me off-guard. I wanted the night you got back to be perfect, and that just…"

"Ruined it, I know. I wanted the same thing. I'm so sorry."

Man, forget Nate and Jason, I needed to start going to Josh about girl stuff. He _called_ that overreacting thing. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her.

"Why didn't you tell me he was engaged?" I asked. It would have given me a lot more peace of mind.

"Because it shouldn't matter," she told me. I guess that was true. "Can we go home now?"

"Actually, no."

Lexi looked at me strangely. "Why not?"

"We all have to stay out of the house until ten…" I smiled. She was going to freak when I told her why. "Because sometime between now and then, Nate is going to ask Caitlyn to marry him."

"Oh my God!" she squealed. "No way! I can't believe it!"

"Believe it," I told her. "And some people are coming over at ten to celebrate. Assuming she says yes, I guess."

"She will," Lexi assured me. She wrapped her arms around my neck again and whispered in my ear seductively. "But, maybe we can just make an appearance at the party…I can think of something more fun we could do."

I hated/loved when she said stuff like that and then I had to wait to be alone with her. The wait was horrible, but once we were finally alone… I'd been out of the country for three weeks – sleeping with her was pretty much the only thing I could think about. I know, I know, but I'm a 20-year old guy, remember? Can you really blame me?

"You took the words right out of my mouth," I replied. "But in the mean time, do you want to get something to eat?"

She smiled and nodded. "Just let me grab my stuff."

**A/N: I've been trying to post this for like three days but has been hating. I think the next chapter will be the last, and I'm almost done with it. Also, I realized I didn't give credit for the song that Shane was singing at the beginning of chapter…10, I think? It was "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" by Taylor Swift. **


	14. Chapter 14

"I can't believe you're married, dude," I told Nate just before he got into his SUV. "You're officially old now."

"I'm 23!" he replied, mock-defensively. "And I'm younger than you, grandpa!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I smirked. "Have fun."

"Oh, I plan to, don't worry," he grinned.

I headed back into the house as he and Caitlyn drove to the airport to leave for their honeymoon. They were going to Paris for a couple of weeks. I was still in my tuxedo from the wedding – Lexi and I had come back to help the happy couple finish loading their luggage into the car. But mostly, I think we just wanted to have some time alone. The past few days had been so crazy with all of the wedding stuff and bachelor/bachelorette parties, we'd barely seen each other.

I walked up the stairs and into my room. I mean, _our_ room – she'd moved into my room, Caitlyn had moved into Nate's, and they used Lexi's old room as basically a huge closet for the ridiculous amount of clothes and shoes they had. Lexi was fiddling with the strap on her high heels. She looked incredible in her bridesmaid's dress. I don't even remember much of the ceremony – I was too busy looking at her. I know they say the bride is supposed to be the most beautiful woman at the wedding, but…

"Hey, sweetie," she smiled at me, finally getting her heels off.

"Hey," I replied.

Lexi stood up and walked over to the dresser and started taking off her jewelry. I put my hands in my pockets and touched the small, velvet box I'd been carrying around for days. I didn't know when, or how, I was going to do it. I'd talked to Jason about it, but he told me not to say anything to Nate until after the wedding – he said that would be 'stealing their thunder'. But I _did _ask Nate how he knew when it was the right moment to ask. He said that you just know. I didn't really know what the hell that meant, but I took his word for it. And now that he and Caitlyn were officially gone, I could ask whenever I 'knew' without being a thunder-stealer.

Before Lexi and I started dating, I didn't think I'd ever be the kind of guy who would get married. But I knew now. I'd known since the day I kissed her that I wanted to marry her. And now, after we'd been together for three years, I _definitely _knew.

"Didn't Caitlyn look beautiful in that dress?" she asked, setting one of her earrings on the top of the dresser.

"Not as beautiful as you would look in it," I replied.

"Well, I don't know about that…"

OH MY GOD, THIS WAS **THE MOMENT**. Nate was right, I totally knew. I was freaking out. How the hell do you do this? I had been thinking of things to say since I bought the ring, but I couldn't remember any of them.

"I guess there's only one way to find out."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her back still towards me.

I got down on one knee and pulled the box out of my pocket. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. That would be embarrassing.

"Shane…?" she started when I didn't answer.

She turned around and looked around the room for me before she realized that I was kneeling in front of her. Her eyes widened and she silently looked between me and the ring.

"Marry me," I said simply. She just kept staring at me, and that freaked me out even more. I started rambling. If my fans met me in real life, they would never believe that I really wrote all of our songs. I was so bad with words when it actually came to moments like this. "I don't have a big romantic speech to give you. I don't know what else to say. I just know that I love you more than anything, Lexi, and I want to be with you…I want to make you happy for…forever, and I think I could…I _know_ I could…if you'll let me, and…marry me, baby."

"Oh my God," she said quietly.

I waited for a moment to see if she was going to say anything else. She didn't. "Is that 'oh my God yes' or 'oh my God no'?"

Lexi laughed. "Oh my God YES!"

I slid the ring on her finger and jumped to my feet to kiss her. She said yes. SHE SAID YES. I'm not sure why I was so surprised. I had thought she would say yes, I think. It didn't matter, really, because she said yes. She wanted to marry me.

"Do you remember when my mom always used to tease us about how we were going to get married someday?" I asked her.

She grinned. "Yes…what was it you always said? '_Eww, no way! Why would I marry __**her**__?!_'"

"Yeah, well, I was young and stupid," I smiled and kissed her again. "And I didn't realize how completely in love with you I already was."

"And when we were in middle school and I made you promise that if neither of us were married by the time we were 25, we would get married?" she reminded me. "25 used to seem so old."

"Well, sorry, but I plan on being married by the time I'm 25," I smirked.

Lexi grinned and kissed me sweetly. "She's a lucky girl."

**A/N: The end! I have another fic that's pretty much done, but I don't know if I want to post it or not. I started writing a Nate + Mitchie fic because I think the reason not a lot of people read my stories is that they have original characters ******** But I have the first couple of chapters partly written…I'm going out of town this weekend so I'll work on them a little and probably start posting it on Sunday? I think it will probably be called "Bad Girl" but I haven't totally decided. Thanks for reading!**


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